Alan Plevy and Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson Featured in AP Article About Divorce and the Holidays
For the children of divorced or separated couples, the holiday season can be stressful and frustrating if their parents don’t cooperate with regard to gift giving. In a recent article, “Holiday gifting can be vexing for kids of divorce,” on the Associated Press’s The Big Story website, SmolenPlevy principals Alan Plevy and Kyung (Kathryn) Dickerson suggest ways to make the holidays more joyful for kids who spend their time in more than one home.
Transferring favorite gifts or toys between both parents’ homes can be difficult and result in lost or broken pieces. Also, it is not uncommon for parents to forbid their kids to take new treasures from one home to the other. And divorced parents sometimes compete with each other by purchasing elaborate gifts that they really can’t afford.
Plevy advises parents to work together so that one doesn’t “outgift” the other. “Children value peace over presents,” he advises. “They don’t care about which parent gives them the biggest gifts.”
Dickerson adds that pleasing the kids without considering the ex can make a painful situation worse and for a long time after the holidays. “The children show up at the custodial parent’s house, where they’re living most of the time, with a puppy,” she said. “If that parent had wanted a puppy,” she says, “they would have gotten one.”
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